Those who know me know I abhor the bar scene.
Don't get me wrong, I love to grab a drink with friends, or stare in awe at wine bars' selections, or sip a pretty (but not too sweet) cocktail created using house-made juices and syrups. And I love a good dive bar -- my favorite, complete with stacks of board games and beers swigged from mason jars.
But the "bar scene"? Paying a cover at Rumors (overpriced even at $5), watching people sing Journey with their eyes closed at Front Page, and waiting in line in the snow outside Lucky Bar do not rank high on the list of ways I want to spend a weekend evening.
However, the birthday girl gets to choose the birthday activity without judgment; after all, it's the bar scene I hate, not her. So on Saturday night, after having a few drinks at her place (a portion of the evening I greatly enjoyed), I found myself in line outside Lucky Bar with a few of the girls. The place was packed inside, so we sidled up the bar to get drinks, then secured a spot in the crowd.
A guy approached us: "Can I ask you girls a question?" I resisted an eyeroll and we humored him. "This girl over there asked me if I could list all five world oceans, and I can only get four of them. Can you name the fifth one?"
He said he had already come up with Atlantic, Pacific, Indian, and Arctic on his own. We stared, dumbfounded. Surely four girls with master's degrees could do this? I hazarded a hesitant guess ("Um... Antarctic?") that was met with mocking laughter.
Fine, so I guess geography's not my thing. Another guy approached us with a much different question.
"Hey, can you girls see my nipples through this shirt?"
I laughed. "Um, kind of. Sorry, hon." Ten minutes after he left us, he came back. "Can I ask you girls a question?"
I stopped him. "Wait, wait... is this going to be about your nipples?"
He looked startled, then asked incredulously, "Oh my god! How do you know about my nipples?!"
Good god. Needless to say, I was more than happy to brave the sleet to crawl into bed after that. Oh, and that fifth ocean? The Southern Ocean, also known as the Antarctic Ocean.
5 years ago